Of Death And Converse Wearing Angels
by The Angel Who Wore Converse
Summary: [ABANDONED] Apparently, Edward Elric just died. And how does he know this? Because he just got punched in the face by his guardian angel. Rated T for Swearing, Slugging Of Faces, Envy's humor, and a weird disclaimer.


**OOOOOOH HECK. I'M SO CLOSE TO POSTING THIS. FINALLY! **

**Hello. How are you people doing today? This is a wonderful story created in the mind of one of our favorite fanfiction writers for Fullmetal Alchemist, LeFay Strent, while she saw my pen name (The Angel Who Wore Converse)**

**And this story was born.  
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**Long story short, Ed dies and meets his guardian angel and they go off on adventures together while trying to bring Ed back to life, along the way crossing the gate, meeting Truth, and battling demons!  
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**But without further ado, I must get this posted, because I need to walk my dog before the sky cracks its head open and rains all over us.**

**DISCLAIMER: Whoops. Nearly forgot this. This is a work of FANfiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of Hiromu Arakawa, and anything not recognizable belongs to me, the Author who goes by the pen name of "The Angel Who Wore Converse" on . Any resemblance to actual events , locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental, as is any resemblance to any other fanfictions or work of Hiromu Arakawa. And this disclaimer was 'acquired' and edited from the front of the book "_The Extraordinary Education Of Nicholas Benedict_", by Trenton Lee Stewart, which has absolutely nothing to do with Fullmetal Alchemist, all for the fact that they are both books. Small world, isn't it?  
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The last thing Edward Elric expected was to be punched in the face. Because he already felt dangerously tired, that wasn't technically a good thing. Edward flailed back, landing on the ground with a thump.

"You idiot! I'm gone for five freaking minutes and you manage to go and get yourself killed!" A girl's voice yelled at him. Ed, now angry (as any person would be if they were punched in the face), focused his eyes to indeed see a girl standing over him, looking to be the definition of anger and freaked out combined.

"Who the hell are you!" Ed yelled at her, hand going to where she had hit him. But she wasn't listening. The girl started pacing back and forth, talking to herself.

"This is bad, this is bad...Uriel is going to _murder_ me...What do I do, what do I do...?"

"I think you broke my jaw...!" Ed muttered, rubbing it with his left hand and standing. The girl stopped pacing, her back to him. Without notable warning she spun back around, punching him in the face on the other side, sending him stumbling back again roaring angrily. "_What the hell was that for_!"

The girl crossed her arms, staring at him as he got his footing again. "I just set your jaw back. You're welcome."

"Why would I be welcome for someone hitting me in the face?"

"Shut up and let me think...!" The girl whined, crouching down and putting her head in her hands.

Edward gritted his teeth, placing his hands on his hips. "I want you to tell me exactly where I am and exactly who you are."

"Take a look around, shrimp..." She muttered. She didn't expect to be tackled and held in a headlock. Guess these days are filled with surprises.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' SO SHORT YOU CAN'T SEE HIM UNDER THE BLADES OF GRASS ON THE GROUND!"

"I didn't!" She shrieked, flailing her arms about. "I swear! I didn't call you _short! _Let me go!"

Edward had had enough of this strange girl. He was most definitely irked. "I'LL CUT OFF YOUR FEET AND PUT 'EM ON YOUR HEAD!"

"Stop it! I give up! Uncle! Uncle!" She tapped multiple times on the ground. But Edward wasn't letting up so soon. This time, Alphonse wasn't there to hold him back. The girl shrieked again. "Edward, stop it!"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?"

"_Because I'm your freaking guardian angel_!"

Edward stopped, looking down at the girl in his hold. "What?"

"Edward! Edward Elric!" A new, and vaguely familiar, voice shouted faintly. Ed's head popped up, and the girl was able to spring out of his grip, standing as far away from him as the room allowed. Come to think of it, where _was _he? When he first came to, the girl had said something about him getting killed. But this didn't look like heaven. This looked like a storage room. With boxes, and...shelves. And a door that was suddenly opening. The girl let out a small gasp from across the room, and as quickly has she had jumped away, she flitted over to him again, grabbing his hand, placing a finger to her lips. A look of concentration had washed over her face.

Someone poked their head into the room, and Ed's blood ran cold as his recent memories returned. Learning the truth about the Philosophers Stone with Al. Sneaking into the 5th Laboratory, and fighting the suit of armor like Al, Number 48. He had been backed against a wall, and something was wrong with his automail. The rest was...blank after that. It was as if he simply awoke in that other room.

But back to the present. A head was being stuck into the room, after all. A head with Number 48's helmet resting over it.

"Edward Elric..." 48's helmet said in a creepy manner, looking left and right slowly. But to Ed's confusion, its gaze passed right over the two. He turned to the girl to ask why, but she immediately looked back at him, her finger still on her lips. Instead he just gave her a confused look.

"Envy! Stop fooling around." A woman's voice called irritably from somewhere behind 48. The girl's eyes widened until Edward thought they would pop out of her head. Then, adding to his confusion at this entire scene, Envy lifted 48's helmet off his head, letting dark _green _locks of hair cascade down. He then turned and walked out the door, calling back to the other person that he was coming. The girl, now holding Ed's hand in a death grip, pulled him behind her as she followed Envy, moving silently and sticking her foot in the doorway to keep it from closing, then squeezing out the crack before Envy noticed.

Ed scrunched up his eyebrows. Standing in the darkened hallway was a beautiful woman who certainly carried herself like she knew it, and a small, _extremely rotund_ man (In other words fat) who currently had his thumb in his mouth. Envy strolled over to them, tossing the helmet up in the air and catching it.

He laughed. "C'mon, Lust, it's not like that little pipsqueak is still _alive _after that explosion. This is the only area that wasn't blown up, after all."

"We still need to make sure." The woman, Lust, said. She turned to the large man. "Gluttony, do you smell anything?"

Gluttony shook his head. "I don't think there's any human here... all I smell is dust."

It took Ed a few seconds to realize the girl was looking at him intensely. He glared at her, and she blinked a few times, shaking her head and looking back to the other three people who were unaware they were there.

Taking a closer look, the girl looked different then most people. She had pale blond hair that was nearly white, and her skin had the same pale complexion, however managing to look healthy. She had large, what could be described as spectacles covering her eyes, which were green hued. Looking down, she donned a slightly tight, blue t-shirt with what seemed to be white _angel _wings printed on the back. To finish, she had light gray pants, and strange, high-topped red shoes with white patches that seemed to have been placed strategically around them.

Hmm. Besides, he should really be paying extra attention to this whole situation...

"Father's going to be angry that we lost a sacrifice..." Lust murmured, staring at nothing in particular. "We better get going to tell him. He won't like to be kept waiting on something like this."

"Right, right..." Envy said, still tossing the helmet up in the air, only to continuously catch it.

The three started to make their way away from Ed and the girl, down the dark hallway. After a moment, Ed let out a breath of air he hadn't realized he was holding.

"Who were _they_?" He hissed to the girl, his so-called 'guardian angel'.

"Homunculi." She said. "A sort of artificial human who-" She froze, giving Ed a weird look. She spoke through a nest of gritted teeth. "Wait, no, you're not supposed to know that yet. Which brings us to our next problem, you're not supposed to be _dead!"_ The girl dropped Ed's hand like it was hot to the touch.

"What do you mean I'm _dead?" _Ed demanded, his voice rising. "I can see you! I can see everything else! And what was with those people - those homunculi? They couldn't see us!"

"I'm...I _am _your guardian angel," she repeated, but Ed snorted in disbelief. "I was assigned to you. But no one told me that if I took a freaking _five minute _break, you'd be dead by the time I got back! And of course you have to be the most non-religious person _ever."_

"I believe in science, not mythical made-up explanations."

"Yeah? Well what does science say about this?"

Edward rubbed his shoulder where his automail connected to his arm. "Well... I'm probably-"

"Wait." She said suddenly, holding up a hand. "No, shut up. Be quiet. I need to think. Shush."

Ed crossed his arms, glaring at her. "I w-" She placed a hand over his mouth before he could say anything else. He blushed suddenly, and took an abrupt step back. She was looking at him with a flat look.

"Jeez, you're such a whimp."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN-"

"I said _shut up!" _The girl slapped a hand over his mouth, looking at the ground with a undefined expression while Ed proceeded to glare at her.

Moments passed.

"...Edward." The girl asked slowly, taking her hand away from his face. He turned to look at her.

"_What?"_

"I want you to punch me." She said calmly, not looking at him. "I need to know if this is actually happening, or if someone just laced my drink with something weird."

Ed blinked, considering what she had just said. Then he drew back his hand and punched her in the face.

"OW!" She yelled, flailing her arms as she stumbled back. "What the flip was that for?"

"What?" He exclaimed at her different choice of vocabulary. "You asked me to punch you!"

"But I wasn't serious!" The girl rubbed her cheek. "Jeez, what did you do, hit me with your automail arm?"

"Maybe." He replied stubbornly, crossing his arms and looking away. She wasn't getting any answers out of him until he got some of his own. Then the moment struck him again.

The girl leapt back as Ed swung at her again. "Hey! Stop it!"

"What the _hell_ is going _on?_" He demanded, coming to swing at her again.

"If you stop trying to slug me, I'll tell you!" She danced around him again. "Edward!"

"Explain NOW!" He shouted.

The girl bit her lip, staying silent. And when Ed made to move at her again, she practically exploded. "I'm your guardian angel from the other side of the gate and I was assigned to make sure you don't die but that prat Adam told me it would be okay to stop watching you for a few minutes and before I knew it you were lying in a crumpled bloody heap and you could see me and ohmygod Uriah is going to KILL me so freaking-"

"STOP!" Edward held out his hands, eyes wide from how fast she was talking. "Just... stop." The so-called 'guardian angel' shut her mouth, standing still and looking intently at him. He frowned. "And breathe!"

There was a small gasp as the girl let out a breath of air. Then she neatly folded her hands and looked at her feet.

Ed was silent. The person in front of him had claimed that he was dead. He, Edward Elric, was DEAD. And he was also supposed to believe that she was his guardian angel? And who was this Uriah she kept rambling on about?

Wait.

Ed's head snapped up.

"You're from the other side of the gate?"

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**Do you like it? :D Do ya? Do ya? **

**Well review! I'm curious. :3**


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